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“Live your everyday living for you not for any one else. Never permit the dread of getting judged, turned down or disliked cease you from staying on your own.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my extended, thick, luscious hair.
I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Just take Satisfaction Barbershop, and sat in the chair with the most badass barber. She quelled my previous-moment fears and boldly took the clippers to my never ever-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.
It was quick liberation.
I had finally worked up the courage to do so soon after 4 many years of inside debate and worry, which went something like: What will persons feel? Will folks think I’m a man? Will individuals handle me in another way? What if I’m actually unattractive and my ugliness will be disclosed? What if my head is oddly shaped? Will I have to wear a bunch of make-up?
My worries and feelings have been clearly steeped deep in societal conditioning about magnificence and femininity. We are instructed that lengthy hair is feminine and gorgeous. We are informed that young women of all ages aren’t supposed to have short hair. We are advised that if you are a female with limited hair, be sure to wear makeup and jewelry so you search female.
But I ultimately stopped all the considering, broke cost-free from those norms, and I just did it. I explained, “Off with the hair!”
And now I truly feel no cost-er, sexier, and prettier.
I truly feel much more like me.
It’s as if I shed levels that ended up actually hiding my genuine essence. My true essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual becoming who occasionally feels soft and tender, and other moments feels daring and badass. My correct essence as someone who is wary of policies and authority.
It’s also as if I shed levels of my moi. Mainly because regardless of whether I like to admit it or not, my hair was a considerable piece of my identity as a lady. Hair is an professional communicator, with the capability to send so a lot of messages by a one glance. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, wealth, age, wellness, and parts of our temperament.
Now that I have lose my long hair, I imagine the only section of me that is nonetheless communicated by means of my hair is my character. For just one can no more time seem at me and rapidly deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or overall health. (I do have extremely toned muscle tissues and glowing pores and skin, so people must be able to make an assumption about my overall health, but some people only see the brief hair and assume I have most cancers).
What is communicated boldly is that I develop and stay by my own policies. And if folks know one detail about me, THAT is particularly what I want them to know.
My buzzed hair also lends an air of thriller, as men and women question about all of these other tiny check out containers (gender, prosperity, age, and many others.) that are normally communicated via hair.
When I did lose some layers of my moi, my buzzed head also will make a quite solid assertion, and in complete transparency, I get a large amount of interest. This focus arrives in all forms.
In some cases it is “Excuse me sir…oh! I indicate ma’am.”
From time to time it’s “You have to have to dress in lipstick to glance a lot more feminine.” (Who explained I preferred to look extra feminine?!)
Other occasions it’s “Omg, you are so beautiful” or “I Really like your hair.”
At times I get cost-free guac.
I get a whole lot of smiles from passersby on the sidewalk.
I get a good deal of lingering seems at the post workplace, the coffee store, and the dance flooring.
And whilst I do adore to be known as gorgeous (who does not?!), I don’t connect myself to the praise or the criticism for the reason that I have resolved for myself that I am potent, radiant, and gorgeous, from the inside of out. I no for a longer time care if people today consider I search masculine or feminine, ugly, or attractive. I do not care if men and women in Idaho feel I have cancer. I never care if men and women feel I appear like a skinny boy without makeup on. (What’s improper with hunting like a skinny boy?!)
This stage of not caring, of currently being so self-assured in who I am, is the supreme freedom.
Moreover, I know that when people respond one particular way or the other, it is not seriously about me and my hair. Their response indicates that I activated a thing inside them. I activated their drive to be totally free and to halt subsequent the guidelines that someone else laid out for them.
In the greatest circumstances, I give many others a little authorization slip to phase into their very own boldness. Which is a person of my favorite parts of buzzed life—when ladies convey to me I have encouraged them to excitement their very long hair! That they were being so anxious about what people would assume, but following observing me do it, they now have the courage way too. That is powerful.
So whilst the hairstyle of a single female may possibly feel like a simple and insignificant detail, it actually performs a compact but significant purpose in the liberation and empowerment of gals.
For when a girl has the braveness to force back again towards splendor expectations, that braveness is ignited, and she also develops the bravery to choose liberty in other facets of her everyday living as very well.
For me, that has seemed like a lot more sexual freedom—making me more playful in bed and bolder in sharing my desires—and more self-confidence in all spots of my lifestyle.
Buzzing my hair has also developed additional time in my life, as I devote significantly less time acquiring all set. It is made a lot more mental place, as I no longer invest inordinate quantities of time thinking about how to style my hair, when to wash it, and whether or not to get it highlighted.
It has also freed up a lot more dollars due to the fact I no for a longer period shell out hundreds of pounds on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at residence and, at times, I bleach it myself.
It is also led to liberty in how I dress. Sometimes I like to dress to specific my femininity. Other periods, I costume to specific my masculinity. As somebody who applied to be deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and deficiency of motivation to don make-up, I have reclaimed the masculine pieces of me with delight, which has been an integral element of my therapeutic and growth journey.
It has also deepened my sensuality. In the shower, the h2o massages my head much more intimately. On a summer time working day, the sun kisses me deeply. On a breezy morning, the wind and I dance a swish dance. On the dance floor, the softness of my fiancé’s lips activates my crown chakra. I come to feel less separation concerning the environment and me. I am far more integrated. I am extra knowledgeable of my oneness with the organic planet.
Certainly, all of this simply because of my buzzed hair!
So I’ll go away you with a few parting terms of wisdom:
1. People today are heading to talk and have an viewpoint about you no subject what, so you may as well do what you want and be who you want.
2. Others’ opinions of you really have far more to do with them than they do with you, so do not get things far too personally and problem oneself initially and foremost with your belief of your self.
3. If you want to excitement your head, do it. If you don’t like it, it’ll develop back. But I guess you will like it!
So here’s to using action to reside as a extra no cost, wild, and self-confident you!

About Teresa Towey
Teresa Towey is a mentor and mentor for girls. She curates specific and group areas to manual women in returning to their wild, visceral nature by means of connection to the entire body and the earth. She has a special focus in encouraging females specific their sensuality and live in alignment with their menstrual cycles. Look at out her website and comply with her on Instagram. DM her to plan a free 1:1 session!
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